Are You Struggling with Depression?

Article by Deborah Ward, Psychotherapist
May 2006

Have you felt at times that the world is a painful place and that all you want to do is retreat and seek some comfort?


It happens to almost everyone at some point. Following traumas, bereavements or other critical events, it is usual to experience some of the symptoms of depression. If one experiences hostility, danger, or excessive pain, it is a natural and healthy reaction to retreat, give time for healing and regain strength. It can be life-saving and it can ensure that future interactions in the world are helpful and positive.

However, if, for any reason, the world is or is felt to be excessively or consistently dangerous or negative, a person can feel that there is no point in trying again; of going out into the world again. They feel it is safer to stay 'in there'. The more this happens, the more depressed someone is. The irony is that 'this place' of comfort is a very unpleasant place to be.


There can be many, many reasons why the world may be perceived in this way. The work environment may be politically hostile; you may be involved in an abusive relationship; or even something seemingly petty has triggered a very old experience you had forgotten about. There is usually an entirely valid reason why depressive feelings started in the first place. Usually, you were hurt, misunderstood, threatened or mis-judged.


which reality is real?

You may not even remember when it first started. This is because at first you may have been able to brush it off and carry on. It is only later, after a habit developed, that it starts to chip away at confidence, self-esteem and optimism. The mind may start to draw the erroneous conclusion that this negative pattern is the reality of life.


The human mind seems to take special note of traumas because it is an exception and an offense against well-being; it must act and protect. It does not need such attention when all is well. Normally, that is a good thing. However, when the mind takes a further step by believing 'this is how it has been x number of times, therefore that is how it will always be', the trap of depression has bitten. That is an erroneous myth. Things always have the chance of being different. In fact, it goes against nature for there to be a lack of diversity.

And so, we have a combination of events, resilience and thinking patterns all playing a part in making someone depressed.


cluttering the future

Remember the little boy who cried wolf so many times that he was not taken seriously when he really meant it? Well, let's try that story slightly differently. The boy has cried wolf and nobody listens or responds. One day when the wolf arrives, the boy does not even bother anymore to cry out for help. Everyone ignored or even laughed at him the last few times he called out. What is the use? What he didn't know was that day someone was just around the corner. Someone who would have listened and helped.

When you sink into depression out of a sense of 'oh, why bother, it is never any good', you may just miss the very opportunities your heart is seeking. You are too busy with the myth. It is a form of looking backwards to the past. And forcing that past to clutter your future.


If you felt that some seemingly unimportant event triggered feelings of depression, you may feel very frightened. It may feel like depression can just happen out of nowhere. If you understand the types of situations that really get under your protective layer, you have a better chance of avoiding a recurrance of depressive feelings. And, if not, you will at least understand what is happening. And that helps you recover faster.


comparing yourself

Yes, some people have overcome enormous adversity and so, you may reproach yourself for feeling 'beaten' by seemingly lesser problems. But, you never know. It is impossible to compare. Some people may have a dramatic trauma, but the road up until then was smooth so they had more reserves to call upon. It is never appropriate and it is never helpful to compare yourself with someone else. You just don't know.

Believing the myth that you are at fault or that 'it must be just how I am' is the depression speaking.


another myth

For many years it was believed that people suffered depression because of chemical imbalances. If ever there were a depressing scenario for someone feeling depressed, here it was! That myth simply underlined the sense of inevitability and futility. It was *proved* by demonstrating the low serotonin levels in depressed people. Something was wrong in you! And then a lot of drugs were sold to *cure* it.


Most depression is not due to a chemical imbalance, or genetic factors. Low serotonin levels are a result, not a cause, of depression. Feelings, over time, have an effect on the body. Therefore, artificial serotonin stimulation only addresses the symptom and is of limited value. The drugs do not help the person learn to stop depressing their seratonin levels. Instead, they become addicted.


Understanding depression, more particularly, what situations trigger your feeling depressed is the key to unravelling your myth. Only when the person can see their myth for what it is, can they emerge from it in a new and positive way. When the myth no longer has a hold over you, you stop suppressing the seratonin. You learn to make it for yourself.


And your myth? Well, it is a story that is uniquely your own.

what you can do now

Here are three very potent, yet, simple, things you can do right now to dispel the myth of depression. If you can do these three simple things every day, starting this minute, you can start to disentagle yourself from debilitating depressive feelings. No, not after you have done x, y or z, later, tomorrow or when you have time; now. Stop what you are doing. Take your hands off the keyboard and just read these three little things.

1. Stop thinking about yourself. Think about someone or something else.
2. Move. Even if it is half a dozen sit-ups, touch-toes or a wander in the garden; move your body.
3. Give. Think of something you can do for someone else and do it.

Stop. Move. Give.

Let these three words be your anti-depressants. Let them be your affirmation; your mantra or however you can best carry them with you. This day-to-day support helps you stay free. To really get to the heart of the matter, consider therapy.

the talking cure

"How can talking help? It won't change anything." People often feel this way. They have considered their problems again and again. They have told their friends. But it hasn't changed anything. How will talking to a therapist help?


A therapist is trained to listen and understand. S/he will listen to you very carefully and help you to understand what has happened to you and how you respond to things in life. The therapist does not decide whether you are good, bad, right or wrong. S/he wants to understand the habits and patterns that are unhelpful to you and help you to recognise them too. S/he works to understand who you really are and concentrate on that. When this recognition exists, it is much easier to recognise the myths and the habits for what they are and how they may have helped in the past. And to also see how they are no longer achieving anything positive. And then they can be recognised before they take hold of you. The better you become at recognising the signposts of depression, the better you become at avoiding it. Until, one beautiful day, that dark myth can be discarded.

With certainty.


© 2006. The above content is legally registered copyright of Deborah Ward. If anyone would like to republish the above article, please email me your request, where it will reside and your assurance of a link back to this website, and I'll send you a short bio you can use with it for your site.