Many people ask me this at their initial session. As an experienced therapist, my answer would be ' nearly everyone can benefit from therapy'. I have yet to meet someone who does not have 'issues' that complicate their life when they need not do so. You do not have to be 'mad' or 'ill' to improve the quality of life through therapy.

If something is troubling you that does not pass with time or you find yourself in the same unsatisfactory situation again, therapy is a good avenue to explore.

By being more self-aware, people establish more fulfilling relationships, make better-informed decisions and generally are able to live life more fully and positively.

Therapy requires commitment and a willingness to challenge yourself.

However, there are a few instances when it is better for a person to keep defences in tact. In these cases cognitive behavioural therapy or a pharmacologically managed treatment may be a better option.

Different therapeutic approaches work in different ways. However, I believe that the adage of 'If you keep doing the same thing, you will probably get the same results' lies at the core of most therapeutic thought.

The challenge is to find out how to look at things from a different angle and adopt fresh, more satisfying responses.

The type of therapy I practice focuses on the ways we relate to ourselves and to others. Many of our habits, expectations and modes of expression are based on our experience of life, especially childhood. When events are painful or traumatic, we find ways to cope with the situation; some healthy, others less so, but are the best option available at the time. For children, particularly, the options are limited and second best strategies are employed.

One example of these coping strategies, or defences, is to switch off our feelings. While this may be appropriate in one situation, if it becomes habitual, it can have serious effects on the quality of relationships to others and to the self.

Over time, the person may abuse alcohol or drugs, repeat abusive relationship patterns, develop depression or panic attacks as a way of 'not feeling'. The habit of locking down feelings can become automatic, not deliberate, to cover deep-rooted pain. This leads to other problems, especially in the quality of relationships.

These unseen strategies are sometimes referred to as 'keeping a lid on it' or 'I would rather not think about that', etc. They consume a huge amount of emotional energy.

One of the main goals of therapy is to become aware of these locked-in patterns and to better understand the emotional 'fuel' that drives them. Then you can question whether they are helpful or not.

Therapy works to draw the unconscious reactions into awareness. This, coupled with the willingness and courage to feel the real feelings underneath, releases the lock that binds us to impulsive behaviour. This frees the individual to make more informed choices in their life.

I see the essential goal of therapy is to recognise and celebrate the true, authentic self that lies beneath the defences. It is part of my role to gravitate to this unburdened part of the person that contains the wisdom and resources they need to live a truly vibrant and maturely loving life. Only you can do it, but you do not need to do it alone. I can walk behind you and hold the lamp.

This is, of course, an overly brief description of the goals of the therapy I practice, but hopefully, gives a general idea.

It can be hugely beneficial to understand why unhelpful patterns first made sense to you as a way to decide whether they are still helpful today.

However, it is not necessary to go too deeply into the past just for the sake of it or to recall every detail, unless you feel it is important for you to do so. What is important is to have enough information to reach an understanding of why you experience certain situations in ways that may not be helpful or healthy for you. I see no benefit in reliving pain or trauma for the sake of it. However, sometimes people find it hugely helpful to share a difficult experience. That is your decision.

Some people do experience a period of dependency during therapy and by working through it, it can prove a valuable part of the process before leaving it behind.

The short answer is: you will know when you feel well and happy enough to not want to spend your free time talking to a querulous old woman.

Just how long that will take depends greatly upon the reasons why therapy you are coming for therapy and how open you are to look at and try things in a new way.

Just some of the factors determining how long it will take are:

Therapy can last from a few months to several years.

I usually work on an open-ended basis from a depth perspective. If there you specifically wish to work within a limited timeframe, please mention this at your first session.

When someone asks me at the beginning 'How long will therapy take?' without knowing the depth of you, what your worries are, how long you have experienced them, what you wish to achieve and how willing you are to work, I simply cannot answer. Some people come with enough self-awareness and trust to start work at a deep level; while others need the assurance only time can give before sharing the vulnerable side of themselves. Others come affected by events so early in their life, they simply have no memory of it and it takes time to make sense of that and gain the self-assurance that was denied them earlier. Each individual needs the freedom to work at their appropriate rate and depth.

As a therapist I wish to provide you, as a unique individual, with the time you need to safely explore your inner world and, yet, assure you that I am aware that the purpose of good therapy is to set you free from needing it. I have a supervisor whose role is to ensure our work proceeds at a good rate and reaches its natural conclusion.

Occasionally clients wish to have a short-term plan of 6 to 12 sessions for a specific problem. In this case, I offer a more cognitive, behavioural approach. This is far more directive and remains firmly within a fixed realm where your background and any other issues are specifically avoided.

Personally, I feel the cognitive behavioural approach can be useful for the preliminary work in depression, anxiety and phobias. However, in my experience, lasting and genuine results are far more likely when a depth approach is adopted.

Most of my work is medium-term or open-ended work due to the nature of my specialisms. However, in specific circumstances, I do see people for short-term counselling to provide support over specific crises or events in their life. For example, a recent bereavement, separation or work problem.

• 1. Regularity provides you with a time frame to present and discuss your problems. The following week gives you time to reflect about what we talked about. New feelings and insights might arise. You may also notice that you react a little differently in certain situations; often in a healthier and more aware way. Your new discoveries can be reviewed at the next session and taken further.
  
  This cycle of awakening self-awareness coupled with professional feedback brings about healthy and stable change into daily life.
   
• 2. Counselling and therapy can sometimes mean having to face difficult feelings. These are the feelings that are hidden inside and you may not even be aware they are there. Ignoring them does not mean they don't still have an effect. They can feed depression, anger, self-harm, vague feelings of unhappiness and many other difficult emotional states.
  
  By choosing a therapeutic environment to explore and express these feelings, you and the therapist are working to overcome these problems. This is how therapy works to stop hidden feelings having an invisible and negative effect over you.
  
  By saying 'I don't want to think about that; it upsets me' means you are repressing the feeling and it will have this power over you as long as it stays buried. In therapy, we work to recognise and feel those feelings as a way to release their silent hold. You become freer to live a 'lighter' life without so many pulls from the past.
  
  Therapy assists this process in a careful and gentle manner. This process has been shown to be vital in gaining a better sense of lasting well-being. Regular sessions ensure that these feelings receive the professional attention they need.
   
• 3. Many clients find comfort in the knowledge that they are building a professional relationship with a therapist who is able to understand them and is there entirely for the client's well-being. When you go through difficult events in life, the knowledge that your therapist will be able to understand and help you through can mean you are much stronger in dealing with day-to-day issues.
  
  Knowing you can discuss these things at your next session often means you can start to imagine how that conversation might go. Questions such as 'I wonder what my therapist would make of this?" helps you learn how to be more objective about the situations you are in.
  
  The combination of those imagined thoughts and how they check out in reality in therapy is how, over time, you become stronger in your own right and able to help yourself. That means the therapy has done its job in setting you free to live a more self-reliant and positive life.

I do, sometimes, work with people who have unpredictable or very busy work schedules and have found a workable solution.

We start by reserving a mutually-convenient time to pin your weekly session to. At the end of each session, we confirm the following week's regular appointment. If you cannot make it, we then try to find a workable alternative. If that is not possible, I keep your regular session open for you in case it transpires that you can make it after all. If you cannot, it is treated as 'missed' and full fees are due.

If you have exceptional circumstances, we can discuss this.

It my experience that ad-hoc appointments generally do not provide the level of progress I wish to achieve.

• something is playing on your mind and isn't going away
   
• you suspect you may be talking about the issue too much with friends or relatives who may be getting bored or feel unable to help
   
• you have been in a similar situation in the past
   
• you are at a loss as to why this has happened or what you might have done
   
• you feel that relationships may be suffering
   
• you simply do not feel that life is what it should be
   
• you notice that the same negative situations repeat themselves time and again.

Payment for personally-attended sessions is made at the time of the appointment either by cash or cheque. Credit or debit card payments can be made via online payment.

Telephone sessions are paid for at the time of booking via a Paypal invoice.

I am a Norwich Union Insurance registered therapist.

If you are being funded via your employer to have therapy or supervision, I work on a monthly invoicing system.

There is more to providing therapy than sitting in the chair during the client session. The therapist carries their understanding of you and your process. There is a limit to the number of clients a therapist can responsibly and effectively support at any one time. A good therapist will restrict the number of clients they see to ensure quality.

Whether a client attends twice a week or once a month, it makes little difference to the responsibility of keeping the client's profile active, remembered, researched and ruminated upon. It is very different to, say, a haircut which is over and done with once the client leaves.